Be Still and know that I am God.... Psalms 46:10
I arrived Saturday afternoon at the guest house, and by 7pm was utterly exhausted. I began the day at 3:30 in the morning and departed Nashville on the 5:30 flight. With not sleeping much Friday night, early morning Saturday, long flights, 50 degree climate change, and the cultural shock again, I was DONE.....
I am usually not a sleeper, but between Saturday and Sunday I was clocking around 10 hours of sleep and today I feel a lot better.
I started writing this blog post 3 days ago, but I apparently have developed ADD while here and cant seem to finish anything I start. But it's nighttime now and my brain is going crazy so I thought I would write.
Do you ever have this feeling like you are watching yourself from the outside, like some other person is living in your body and you are watching everything happen from so far away unable to shed any light on the situation? This has been my week. I feel like my world is spinning all around me and for the life of me, I can't seem to get in my own head and calm it down. I came with a small agenda and after this week the majority of that agenda will have been addressed, so I am struggling with actually being still and listening. I am a go-getter, always on the go, must have a daily/weekly/mothly agenda, know exactly what I am to accomplish by a deadline. Here- there is no agenda, and I know this, but struggling more this time with letting go of my agenda world and focusing on what He is asking me to do.
I will be honest with you all. I turned 29 last week and thought at this point, my life would look much different. I would be married, possibly talking babies or one in the oven, careers in order and life goals organized. I guess it's a good thing we don't plan our lives, because mine is obviously much more awesome that I had pictured, but I have still been feeling sort of "left behind"- I am at the age where all my friends are having babies and getting married, and seem to be excelling in life- of course thats what FB wants you to think... but anyways I know things will happen when they are supposed to. I have just really had a lot of free time on my hands and if you know anything about me, I don't do well with just chilling, especially in Haiti.
So, with all that said, my first week has been a struggle, different for me, yet interesting. I went to the O Monday and that was ok. I saw several familiar faces, one in particular!! But so so many new ones..... It makes me sad there are still so many children without parents or who cant care for their child, but also grateful there are places for them to stay until a forever family comes along.
I didn't go to the O on Tuesday, and at this very minute I really cant recall what I did... I have been reading a lot, OH- I remember..... we all went to lunch and then had an airport pick up and then I went to exchange money. I am laughing writing this because those 3 things literally took form 1-5pm.... in the states it might take 2 hours...maybe!
Wednesday was a fun day- I was able to go see the girls and of course my roomie! She is in country finalizing some details and we just happened to be here together, so naturally we must see each other for the entire day!
And so this leads me to today..... Today I think has been one of the hardest.... there are some things going on stateside that are really out of my control, but it is bothering me, and I am not focusing 100% efforts here. Also due to lack of transportation I missed a meeting that I was excited for this morning, but spent that time exercising and trying to clear the brain. I did however spend a few hours at the O and finally got my girl to let me out of the doghouse and enjoyed the day together. And then to top it off the house crew went for pizza!!!
Tomorrow is a new day and excited for a new meeting and hopes to see where it will lead. I am also working to focus myself back on being here and being still and learning to be ok with no agenda..
Wish me luck...
I started writing this blog post 3 days ago, but I apparently have developed ADD while here and cant seem to finish anything I start. But it's nighttime now and my brain is going crazy so I thought I would write.
Do you ever have this feeling like you are watching yourself from the outside, like some other person is living in your body and you are watching everything happen from so far away unable to shed any light on the situation? This has been my week. I feel like my world is spinning all around me and for the life of me, I can't seem to get in my own head and calm it down. I came with a small agenda and after this week the majority of that agenda will have been addressed, so I am struggling with actually being still and listening. I am a go-getter, always on the go, must have a daily/weekly/mothly agenda, know exactly what I am to accomplish by a deadline. Here- there is no agenda, and I know this, but struggling more this time with letting go of my agenda world and focusing on what He is asking me to do.
I will be honest with you all. I turned 29 last week and thought at this point, my life would look much different. I would be married, possibly talking babies or one in the oven, careers in order and life goals organized. I guess it's a good thing we don't plan our lives, because mine is obviously much more awesome that I had pictured, but I have still been feeling sort of "left behind"- I am at the age where all my friends are having babies and getting married, and seem to be excelling in life- of course thats what FB wants you to think... but anyways I know things will happen when they are supposed to. I have just really had a lot of free time on my hands and if you know anything about me, I don't do well with just chilling, especially in Haiti.
So, with all that said, my first week has been a struggle, different for me, yet interesting. I went to the O Monday and that was ok. I saw several familiar faces, one in particular!! But so so many new ones..... It makes me sad there are still so many children without parents or who cant care for their child, but also grateful there are places for them to stay until a forever family comes along.
I didn't go to the O on Tuesday, and at this very minute I really cant recall what I did... I have been reading a lot, OH- I remember..... we all went to lunch and then had an airport pick up and then I went to exchange money. I am laughing writing this because those 3 things literally took form 1-5pm.... in the states it might take 2 hours...maybe!
Wednesday was a fun day- I was able to go see the girls and of course my roomie! She is in country finalizing some details and we just happened to be here together, so naturally we must see each other for the entire day!
And so this leads me to today..... Today I think has been one of the hardest.... there are some things going on stateside that are really out of my control, but it is bothering me, and I am not focusing 100% efforts here. Also due to lack of transportation I missed a meeting that I was excited for this morning, but spent that time exercising and trying to clear the brain. I did however spend a few hours at the O and finally got my girl to let me out of the doghouse and enjoyed the day together. And then to top it off the house crew went for pizza!!!
Tomorrow is a new day and excited for a new meeting and hopes to see where it will lead. I am also working to focus myself back on being here and being still and learning to be ok with no agenda..
Wish me luck...
