Empty Nester

It's lunchtime here at the O, and unlike my last month it is extremely quiet. I am sitting in the office solo eating my rice and bean sauce wondering how my crew is doing. Everyone left early this morning with the exception of Judy- she left here at noon. It is now just me. 

I didn't think you could form a bond so quickly with 4 other people, but I guess when you live with someone and see them everyday for an entire month the bond just happens. 

The month of March has been a whirlwind. The Pfaff family arrived March 3rd, Brian and his team of 14 (mostly children) arrived that Saturday March 8th and left the 12th, Julie and her daughter Jordyn came on March 20th and stayed for 7 days, and then Tawnya, Isabella, and Judy arrived Tuesday the 25th and left today. So needless to say the house has been full and I have so enjoyed all the different conversations. 

I honestly didn't think it was going to be this hard to say goodbye. And for the record I HATE good-byes. I always say see you soon. It helps me to know there is a reunion coming soon. Good-bye just sounds so sad.....  Well today it was hard. Really hard. The kids and I are going to miss them so much. They have been my saving grace at the O for the past several weeks, especially when things get overwhelming. I can't even begin to thank them enough for their efforts here and the amazing work they did. I remember the night before they were to arrive, I stalked their FB account and found their fundraising video and was excited to see what work God called them to do. We laughed about it later when Holly and I shared that we totally spied on them to get an idea who we would be living with for a month!!!  Let's just say their paperwork and their personalities were total opposites!!!  

So for now, I will wish my new friends the safest journey back to the states, and I will see then when I arrive. Oh, I forgot to mention they live in Nashville too!!!  Whoop Whoop. 

You guys are amazing, and I thank you (and the kiddos do too) for your love that you shared with all of us. Safe travels and I will see ya soon :)

Out with the Old.....

I am very excited to share this post as it makes me smile from ear to ear thinking about it. I will start from the beginning especially for those who are not following the Pfaff's blog. The Pfaff family arrived in Haiti on March 3rd. The first week at the O they noticed the pieces of foam AKA the kids mattresses on the roof. When asked the reason behind this and if these were actually what they slept on- I think a little piece of their heart broke. The kids were sleeping on these pieces of foam that were pieces together with a bed sheet to make a semi full mattress. They are placed on the roof each morning to dry out because many of the children still wet the bed (this is very common in children who have been through trauma, and most of the children here, trauma is not a new terminology). So as we all stood there with our heart slowly breaking, it was then decided to do something about it. 

And so it began. Mary France informed us how many were needed, phone calls were made to get a price quote, wiring the funds took an act of congress, more phone calls were made due to a sudden price increase, frustration and heartache over the unnecessary drama, and then FINALLY it happened.  I am pretty sure the Big Guy upstairs was wore out from all our prayers for these mattresses to happen:) But it HAPPENED and the mattresses were ordered and would be delivered on Saturday around 4pm. 

The Pfaff crew was ecstatic- well, we all were- but due to the madness that happened we didn't tell the kiddos in case something went wrong, and then we would have to try and undo that excitement. 

Saturday was birth family day (see previous blog) and after they families left we were all outside playing with the kiddos when all of the sudden they all started cheering and jumping up and down. Jackson was here- and had all 23 mattresses!!!!!  The excitement was something I will never forget. What child do you know that gets excited over getting a new mattress. (Kind of reminded me of the undies day!!). Well I can tell you these kids get excited over new Mattresses!!!  I took some video but not sure if it will upload or not, so it will be pictures for now.

Garry helped Jackson unload the mattresses into the kids rooms while the nannies removed all the old ones.

It was a great ending to a wonderful month with the Pfamily and a perfect ending to Birth Day Visitation for the kids. I hope they slept like champions- of course the mattresses might need to be broken in first :)


out with the old...... 

And in with the new....

Birth Family Day

This Saturday has been a little different that the previous Saturday's as we all got ready to go to the O for Birth Family Visitation. We had talked to the kids last night about their families coming and several were excited- other didn't seem to have any emotion- partly because they were not 100% sure if anyone was coming to visit. Insert broken heart.

We all arrived at the O around 10:30, and there was already several parents waiting. After a brief (2 hour meeting) the kids were finally able to spend some time with their families. I will be honest and say I had pictured this a lot different in my head, but that doesn't necessary mean it was the perfect picture. At first, especially the younger ones were timid and a few even cried when handed to their birth parents. I am sure this was hard on both parties. As I have been playing mom to all 68 of them over the last several weeks this was difficult for me to witness. I wanted to snatch them all back up and say thank you all for coming, but we will see you next time. BUT- these are their babies, and they traveled all this way to see them. After a few minutes, everyone relaxed and the families seemed to be enjoying each others company. In my head I pictured walking into the O today and the parents and children all playing outside- coloring, swinging, laughing, having snacks, etc.... The reality was, the families stayed to the side and each child was called to go and visit. I think this was to help keep the ones who had no parents in their semi- normal Saturday routine. Whatever the reason was I am sure it was thought about- just odd from my perspective.

The kids visited for a bit, would come back to see what we were doing, go back and visit more, and then the families left.

If you all will think back to last Thursday when we had the 30 Abes food arrive, and the mass amount we had, well Pierre decided to give each birth family a box of food. Each box contain 215 meals so needless to say, they will be fed for some time. The families were super excited to receive this gift, and left all smiling.

A very late lunch was served and then we had an afternoon surprise...... MATTRESSES came!!!!

Birthday Bashes and Clean Puppies

Today we celebrated all February and March Birthday. This is a total excuse, but with all the visitors these past few months the birthday celebrations fell short. 

Along with Christmas, I LOVE birthday, and I love to make them a huge deal- regardless if the other person wants it or not (wink wink). So I was feeling pretty crummy about not being able to make these as big of a deal as I do in the states, but we were still able to make it pretty special for them. And they had a good day. We celebrated with balloons and yummy cakes. And right before lunch... hopefully the nannies don't hate us too much. :)

Jordan- who arrived with her mother last Thursday also celebrated with her Birthday with us!!!  The Sweet 16. We baked a cake for her and are enjoying her festivities this evening :) :).  

After lunch, I decided today was the day. We applied flea medication last week to all the dogs, and I knew they needed a bath. So we bathed all 5 dogs. They stood super still and enjoyed getting the scrub down. Afterwards, they do like any other dog and sun bathed. They are slowly getting more comfortable with me and the kids are being nicer to them, so it was wonderful to see them sitting outside around the kids and playing. Feels a little like home :)  Dogs here are so different than they are in the states, so its refreshing to see the puppies get a little special treatment!!!! Made me miss my little one back home though....

Blowpops and Jams

After our crazy packed day Thursday we decided the kids needed a day of fun and a way for us to show our appreciation for all their efforts and hard work. Because lets me honest- they helped A LOT.

The kids have been working so hard with Rhiana in the classroom and doing so much better with listening and being respectful. I am so proud of each one of them. They so deserved this day. 

We brought blow pops and instruments. For those of you who are not aware, my "housemate" is a pretty awesome musician, so of course they brought an entire suitcase full of all kinds of fun instruments- flutes and harmonicas, and the Guitar, and singing. The kids had a blast. Wilson sometimes gets left out of the older kid activities so I made sure he was included in this one. We took his char upstairs and Rhiana helped him. He was in heaven. Laughing and kicking his feet the entire time. 

The afternoon was great. Who knows we might have ourselves a little band soon :)

30 Abes

What is 30 Abes?????  Well I am so glad you asked. 30 Abes is a campaign to promote a Food Packaging Event for Haiti. In Nashville TN (my hometown) on September 28th, thousands volunteered in the Municipal Auditorium with a goal to break the Guinness World Record for amount of hunger- relief meals packages in an hour. Well, the goal was reached- 530,064 meals in 45 minutes!!!!  

  My mom was in town running a half marathon this very same weekend, so I was not able to volunteer for this event, but I am so glad that I was some how able to still be included. 

You see, this food was packaged in September and has been here for some time, we just couldn't get it out of customs. Shelves had been built, rooms organized, and money ready to go- just had to wait on the release. 

This past Thursday- March 20th- started just like any other day at the O. Wilson was up to his chair, kids were in class, and we even did a craft during break time. During lunch, Pierre mentioned that they food might be coming today. I had heard this statement before so I didn't get too excited, but when his phone kept blowing up during our meeting we knew something exciting was about to happen. YEP- the food was actually coming, and it was on its way. WHOO HOO!!!

The kids, nannies, and staff all knew something was up as they patiently waiting outside for the massive container to try and unload. After several failed attempts, the driver moved to the other entrance and was able to successfully back in the container. 

The doors swung open and the joy and excitement and cheering coming from the kidddos was pretty much amazing.

It was time to get busy. The kids, nannies, and my crew (the Pfaff family) all started unloading the boxes and moving them to storage. 7,362, 33lbs boxes, and 4 hours later we were finally finished. Every space possible was covered up with food boxes. Complete exhaustion, hungry, and thirsty is a good way to describe how we felt. We  stood there and looked at the empty container, the kids jumped in and started singing praise and dancing- It was magical. We were all so tired, but to see the kids so excited made those hunger and thrust pains go away. 

I know I am not properly describing my emotions here, but to see this container show up, and personally knowing many Nashville friends who helped with this, and then to be here and help to unload the food was an experience I will not forget. We often wonder where does this effort go, when we have fundraisers, and I so blessed to be able to witness all the efforts from the states go to the children, nannies, and staff that I have fallen in love with. 

It happened.....

I knew it would, and I tried my hardest to stop it, but I can't help it..... I have fallen in love with a little (actually he is huge for his age) munchkin. 
   Only being here for 3 months, I knew this was just enough time for the kids and myself to get all nice and cozy with one another, then I would just leave- and we would all be miserable. I read a lot before I came on attachments especially with children, and not being clingy to one particular child because it will only make things worse when I am no longer here. I have (or so I think) been keeping a good distance with the kids. We are great buddies, and I love each and every one of them, but I have keep just enough distance (mostly just because there is 1 of me and 68 of them) that we are all friends and I don't have any "favorites". 

With all that said....

  I will let you know right now that day 1 when I first saw this little one- I knew it was going to be extremely hard for me to keep a distance. As soon as I walked in the room he came right over and gave me a tug on my pants. He is absolutely gorgeous, and shows me the biggest smile when our eyes meet. 
  I have been here for a little over 5 weeks, and I have spent a LOT of time in his room just because there was such a need, so the bond has been growing and growing. He is timid around new people and will come and cling to me until he gets a little more comfortable.  Today, like every day I walked into his room to give everyone a good morning greeting and see how far along we are in the bath process. To my surprise, my little guy was missing. I thought nothing of it, as he might be in the shower area getting ready for outside time. But when I discovered all the babies were outside, I still hadn't seen him. I asked Mary Francis where he was, and she told me she sent him to class. WHAT?!?! My little guy- NOOOO, he can't go to school yet, he is still a baby (even though he does need to be moved up). I went to the front room, and there he was- standing in the middle of the room wide eyed and just taking in all the little kids running around everywhere. It was at this moment, I knew I had let myself get too close to him. I was like a little mother hen- I sat there and watched over him for a minute, then decided he needed to come with me. Exactly at that minute the toddlers (which is the room they had him in) were going outside. Since he isn't outside much- his little toes are not used to the gravel, so I scooped him up and went to his room and we found a nice pair of sandals for him. Apparently, this is the first time he has worn shoes, because he was high stepping it all the way back to the playground. 
  I had a moment where I thought to myself, this is what "real" moms feel like. My little guy was going down the slide and I was super excited. He was having a blast. I sat there and thought I want to see this one grown up, to have his first American Christmas, to learn how to ride a bike, to play tee-ball, to play with Izzy, to take him to Disney World, and to teach him everything possible. So far I have taught him to say Bye Bye and Wave, give a kiss, and make funny faces. Last friday he started calling me mama- but I didn't get too excited because all the kids call their nannies mama, so he has been hearing it for some time already. But he called me that :)  haha. 

After the playground playtime, he came on the porch with me for a bit, and after feeling guilty, I took him back to class. I think this is what it feels like to drop your child off at daycare. I sat at the door and made sure the older kids were playing nice and he was going to be ok (of course he is going to be ok- he lives with 68 other children :)). 

I left to go meet some friends for lunch today, and when I got back all the older kids were playing outside along with a few of the babies. My little guy was outside and having a great time playing and laughing. 

I am both sad and happy al this has happened. 

Sadness because I am not single and 35, married and 30, or living in Haiti to become his foster care mother. 
Happiness because he is already matched, so that means he is going to the states, and hopefully he will get to experience all the things I hoped for in my "mother mode" today- if I don't put him in my suitcase first!!!  JKJK 

Beach Day

    I have heard from friends that Haiti is absolutely beautiful- has these amazing beaches and gorgeous mountains, but seeing how I have only been in Port Au Prince (the city) for the last 5 weeks, I was starting to think this was a made up fairytale. I have been dying to see the beach, and as many of you know I am a water person. I have always wanted to live on the beach- and who knows maybe one day this will come true :)- So finally we made it happen. We researched the entire week for the best spot to go on a missionary salary- and we found the perfect spot- Wahoo Bay Beach Cub. It was not too expensive and they accept Credit Cards so that's a double win- I was able to save my cash!!! And the place was BEAUTIFUL. All my American and Haitians Friends were not lying to me. There is a beach and pretty mountains and yesterday we were able to experience both of them!!

   We left around 8:30, enjoyed beautiful views on our hour-long ride, and arrived just before 10 am. It was quiet, had amazing views, calm crystal clean ocean waters, and helpful staff. We all (all 7 of us went, the Pfaff Crew, Holly, Lucknie, and myself) just stood there for a minute and took in all the views. It was beautiful.

   We found a nice spot on the beach- got the chairs sat up, snapped a few photos and hit the water for a day of fun and relaxation.

   I, myself, was most excited about the massive trampoline apparatus in the middle of the ocean. For some unknown reason I refuse to grow up- I am in love with swings- love, love to swing, could eat ice cream every night in the summer, get a little too excited when I am given the chance to jump on trampolines, snorkel in every tropical place- regardless if I have seen the same thing 1000 times before. So you can imagine my face when I saw the water trampoline and the snorkeling boat!

   The day was perfect! We had so much fun playing, relaxing, swimming, snorkeling, eating, drinking fresh coconuts, seeing how high we could jump, and socializing without any sort of electronic device. Perfection in every way :)

  An amazing treat, and hopefully we will get to do it again before I leave, but if not I am so very thankful for the amazing memories we had.

Such a great and enjoyable day!!!!  :):):)

Organizational Chaos

  Last week I noticed the babies were wearing adult sized diapers. Obviously, these are too big for them, so I asked Mary Francis what we needed- she informed me that we needed diapers. Luckily, Brain and the team were coming for the weekend so I asked if they could bring some down to get us by until I could get to a store to get some more. They did and we are ok on diapers until the end of next week or so.

   So this got me thinking- what all do we Have and what all do we Need. And the only way to figure this out is to dig in and organize. Baby room 1 has a pretty good size closet that houses a lot of things especially for the little ones, so I decided to start there. And Holy Cow- I didn’t know organization could take so much out of you, of course, there was no light in the room, and it was a sauna in there, but still……

   I have never seen so many baby clothes; socks- we have 2 large totes full of socks; 2 totes full of shoes;  a Christmas tree size tote full of bottles, nipples, pacifiers, and plastic baby spoons; shampoo (travel sized and regular bottles), an entire tote full of toothbrushes; bags of floss; lotion; countless bars of soap and body wash; 4 LARGE totes of blankets; enough boys undies for them to have a new pair from now until Christmas, and I cant even remember any more of it. It was insane. Why on earth do we have all this, and why is this stuff is not being used? The kids toothbrushes needed to be replaced a month ago, we have holes in panties, broken shoes, old bed sheets, and clothes with stains on them. That’s it- it's time to start replacing old stuff.

Probably should have mentioned what I was doing, but I didn’t and just started replacing all the yuck for new stuff!!!  All the older kids got new undies.

  **Side note- As a kid growing up- especially at Christmas time- undies were always a present. I remember my brother and I squeezing the wrapped gifts trying to figure out which one was the undies package, and not opening this one on Christmas Eve. Yesterday while I was organizing I found all these undies, so I asked each child to line up (by the way- we are doing much better about this :)) and one by one they walked in the office and picked out a pair. The girls went first- and as you might guess all the fun, girly, princess ones went right away. I was so excited to see each girl get a “fun” pair. The boys were next, and I wasn’t sure if this was going to be embarrassing for them or not, so I just let them come in one by one and pick out a pair, while I pretended to be busy. They were awesome. They wanted me to help and with lit faces they picked out Superman, Spiderman, Cars, Lego People, Batman, and Toy Story. Now remember these boys range from 6-12, so not being a mom I wasn’t sure if they were over the fun undies phase yet, but when that was the first thing they picked up I was so excited for them!!!  After they all got a pair, and while I was folding the rest, I sat there with a smile on my face, and thought I hated getting “panties” for a gift, and these guys just were so happy to get one pair.

   The madness of organization continued, and when I found the totes of toothbrushes, I passed one out to each nanny. Again- it felt like Christmas. I have fallen in love with one of the nannies- her name is Florence, and she is pretty much amazing. From day 1- she has been so helpful to me, and all ears when I suggest something new to do. When I handed her the toothbrush- she came over, gave me the biggest hug and kiss ever, and we just laughed for a minute together. This wasn’t me- this was God working, and this was for the generous people who donated the brushes. I just had the privilege of passing them out. 

We are having a toothbrush party tomorrow. 68 little ones will learn how to properly brush their teeth, and we are going to make it fun!!!  I cannot wait.

Ok back to organizing. It’s pretty amazing what you will find by doing this :) As most of you have seen my picture from yesterday, I found the baby sling (sorry, I don’t know the proper term) that’s pretty much amazing. Adrienna is 5 months old, and still isn’t sitting my herself, so when someone can’t watch her, she is in her bed. As we all know this isn’t good for brain stimulation, so I strapped the sling on and little miss helped me organize yesterday :) We chatted about all kinds of good stuff, and we even came up with a game plan for her to sit up by herself!

I finally finished the organization today, and I am completely exhausted. We have way more clothes for girl 24 months and under that we will ever need. Many with the tags still on, so I am working on a way to sell them for diaper and formula money. All the babies in room 1 & 2 got new fitted bed sheets, many of the older kids got new shoes, and with all the new hair accessories found, they can have salon days at the O in the evenings.

I am telling you- it was like Christmas the past few days, and the best part of all this, is we had every single bit of it already.

I am a bit Type A (wink), and having that room organized is like a little slice of heaven to me. I hate clutter. But it is all clean now and we can see what all we have!!!

Oh and we had a surprise this morning when we arrived. One of the cats delivered kittens either last night or way early this morning. Her delivery choice was the other closet in the baby room, so needless to say she had to be moved outside for her post partum care. I am allergic to cats, but thanks to nursing gloves- I got the babies in a tote with one of the million blankets we have, and she and her babies spent the day recovering in shade outside :)- Just another thing added for the resume!! HAHAH 

I apologize for no pictures; I was just trying to not get scratched!

Nighttime writing

   Sometimes I wish my brain had an off switch- like an alarm clock- that I could set to wake me up when it's time to get up. I am not a very good sleeper, not really sure I have ever been. My mom would always say I was the worst at taking naps- she even put me down one day for an afternoon nap, and went to the pool to relax- only to discover I climbed out of my crib and joined her in the deep end L And I guess this is where my love for water comes into play as well. It is now after 11 and I have a busy day tomorrow, but the brain is in overdrive. I have lists- a lot of them to be exact, and tonight one in particular does not want to go to sleep. So far on this trip, I have taken a ½ Ambien every night except two and those were the worst nights of no sleeping. I have trouble sleeping in the states, but I am not a fan of sleep aids, however, I am also not very pleasant without sleep, so sometimes ya just have to take something. Here, in Haiti,- I need to be pleasant every day, so I just take something to ensure I actually sleep. And if I can keep my bladder empty, I can usually get a good solid 7 hours of sleep in. This will not be the case tonight….. I will need to be up and ready by 6:45 for my workout, then showered, dressed, packed, and breakfast finished by 8:30. Tomorrow we (team of 14, the Pfaff family, and myself) are going to Baptist Missionaries for the day, having lunch, a little touring, and if time permitting going back to the O to finish a few things. The team flies out early Wednesday morning, so they will need to pack tomorrow evening. It was a super short trip, but I feel the kids benefited a little from them being here. They were played with and held and they helped me out some, so all in all I think God did some good work here this week.

   And so this is what happens- my mind just goes, and goes, and goes. Next thing you know I will have moved on to a conversation that happened 4 hours ago, and start going back over it, and asking myself questions for parts I either can’t remember or that don’t make sense, and since everyone involved in the conversation is in bed and asleep (like I should be)- I will have to answer them myself- if I can.

   I learned when I was younger that since my brain is in overdrive during “bedtime” I should write. I did for a while, but the sleeping got better so I would actually sleep- well here we are some years later and I am up at now almost midnight writing nonsense material. HAHAHA. I took 2.5 mg of Ambien an HOUR again, and I am still wide-awake, just lack motivation to do something. Not really sure what I would actually do- just saying the motivation isn’t there.

Alright- well I am going to try and go to sleep. Hopefully another conversation, list, planning idea session, or a what am I going to do with my life session won’t happen, and I will sleep and wake up so very pleasant. J

Good Night All